Wednesday, 7 September 2016

Time Bandits


The Strike continues in Time Bandits, chandelier swinging, roller coaster style as we are now back at the start of the Roman Empire wrestling with a wrestling problem. We have to re-capture two temporal inmates, super villains in actual fact, who are virtually indestructible fighters. To further their ambition they have installed themselves ego maniacally as a daily act in the Colosseum and making a fair amount of coin in the process. It is interesting to note that given all the knowledge and power they have regarding the future they still succumb to their vanities rather then lever their potentially devastating control over events. I would suppose its hard to change even when you are presented with the world at its feet.


Nevertheless, these jokers are such showmen they have been beating all the gladiators to near death and are running out of people to fight, Or should I say, living people to fight. True to my roots I have gained access to the gladiators infirmary as the resident doctor and are now duly 'tending' to them in my usual necromantic way, thus providing us with suitable actors for, hopefully, the grand finale.

So how to capture ego maniacs ? Well the answer is always give them enough rope. As this is the Roman era, everyone knows the  great classic Helen of Troy so we are building a wooden horse for our wrestlers to burst out of and fight off all the Trojans and win her back. Thing is, when they get into the horse, we will have a timely portal arranged for them and they will be simply stepping back into captivity. Surely they will realize where they are as soon as they step into the horse and out into Strike Headquarters ? Well, of course the answer is to build another horse at the other end of time into which they will fall ! This should buy us the opportunity to close them off and collect our well deserved cake.

This being one of the most ridiculous plans I have ever been involved with in my entire life I am convinced it will be a complete success.

On a more drunken note, whilst wandering home afterclub, we came up with another Dragons Den winner - Asterix the Ghoul - a sleepy cemetery in France where long dead heroes just want to be left in peace. But due to those pesky Romans, Asterix, Obelisk and their dead friends, Cacafonix the Banshee, Necrofix the ReAnimist and their faithful hound Deadmatix all go on countless fun adventures keeping them at bay. 


I don't remember much after that, probably for the best.

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