Wednesday, 25 April 2018

Battle Potatoes

I have not yet tried my luck in the great Kickstarter lottery but a bit like a 21st Centuary Bagpuss,  I do gleefully paw over curiosities that fellow club mates acquire on their clicky travels. Of late, Nick has been sporting a range heavier and heavier dice and whilst there is definitely quality in good workmanship I am concerned that eventually he would need a small civilization to help roll his latest D10 finely cut from a small neutron star. Still, role playing is a very sociable pastime I suppose.

Sadly the only Kickstarter that really had me excited has just gone on pause; its not gone though so there is yet hope but clearly the creators want to do a proper job and are biding their time... I therefore am still potentially very excited to present to you, 

Kartoffle Krieg : Potato Wars

"There are two types of potato in this world - those who peel and those who mash"

Along the lines of a tabletop war gaming, each general is given a number of potatoes together with a choice of armaments and ordinance. After constructing what you consider the most fearsome tuber albeit it a maris sniper or slow but deadly King Edward, you engage on your agreed terrain with all the usual stats and mechanics for resolving table top battle.

Basically you have to watch the Video whilst its still available to get the full effect I think, but what I particularly like is that there are also options for the larp crowd as summer approaches; what better way to enjoy the forest and really be one with nature ? 

Tuesday, 17 April 2018

Prison Break

Finally being able to speak to people without inflicting 1D8 acid damage on them meant I had the pleasure of catching up with everyone at the club last week and it seems like the games have been busily rolling along. 

I had reports from the Warhammer that the entire party had somehow ended up in jail. I didn't particularly push as to why as in my experience criminals are usually full of angry, bitter recriminations and I would probably have to take each of the players aside to make a formal statement in order to piece together the bigger picture. Besides, I wouldn't want anyone to stop talking to each other on my account. Either way without having to avoid an awkward conversation, I was told that they had cleverly broken themselves out but sadly had immediately got themselves re-incarcerated again. This would make for a very short Prison Break series but of course the game is not over yet and will fill in the blog when I know more.

Boldly over to the Star Trek, it seems that Klingons are particularly strict when it comes to data protection policy. From what I understand, one of the Starfleet officers had beamed aboard an enemy ship in order to download data from the ship's log. In accordance with Imperial Data Protection Orders, the diary was in fact tied to the ships self destruct mechanism. Complications being what they are it seems that the bridge section did manage to eject itself before the rest of the hull detonated. Single handedly taking out a Klingon ship would be worth a lot of experience points I would imagine but not sure if it counts unless that was your original objective..

Finally in the Part Time Gods, we are beginning to be pawns in a larger game as it seems that a ruthless killer is pulling strings to get some of us together with other pantheon members presumably in order to kill two birds with one stone. My rat catcher smells a trap as I am alone with another hapless part time god after receiving an anonymous call out to an office block. However there is a very suspicious cleaning lady doing cleaning things so unless its a double buff, she is going to get taken out first along with her super mops if things get dirty...

Tuesday, 10 April 2018

Dark Matters

Whilst I am still declaring myself quarantined due to feeling like I have been French kissing Darth Vader for a month, my mind has been freed to wander the cosmos and as a result I can now confirm that we have made significant inroads to solving the Dark Matter issue that has been plaguing physicists for many years. For those who aren't doing VHT Physics (Very Heavy Things), a significant amount of the matter in the Universe is in fact missing, though its effects can be explicitly observed. Apparently the experts have been looking everywhere, including Ebay and the Dark Web, but to no avail.

Drawing inspiration from our current Star Trek game, role players gain a unique insight into such problems of course and it was clear to us in an instant that there is an avenue to the Fermi paradox that would explain both the lack of extraterrestrial communications as well as accounting for suspiciously absent things, namely, Cloaking Devices. If you consider large fleets of warships all pumping out energy, ie mass, to keep their cloaks running then already you can envisage a warlike species mass manufacturing such ships that would be all but invisible except to indirect measurements. And whilst I hear you all trolling that even vast fleets of Klingon ships could never account for most of the missing matter in the Universe, I would direct your attention to the fact that Romulan ships also have cloaking technology and that said ships are in fact powered black holes. QED.

Klingons are real of course, but there are also rules that govern hiding away large amounts of stuff in fantasy games - for example putting a bag of holding into another bag of holding is something that should always be encouraged if you are not actually participating in a game - combining extra dimensional spaces is both fun and rewarding..

Wednesday, 4 April 2018

Lich phones

So I was drunk and talking to a role player this week, or possibly I was drunk and I was talking to someone who I thought was a role player.. or I suppose its also possible I was drunk and there was no one there at all. But more importantly there was definitely a conversation involving at least one person with the possibility of additional non-corporeal entities of some kind in attendance on the subject of green wearable technologies. This may not have been a coincidence in so far as there may be a number of individuals who have "crossed over" with a particular interest in the subject.

Like most people, I have been an avid fan of the wind up radio and there are also a number of finely crafted kinetic watches on the market now. The technological age continues to augment our already unbelievably happy lives by also offering us the possibility of devices that operate using nothing less than our own electrically generated current. A bit like a potato light bulb I suppose; certainly in the case of some people I know.

Now, kinetic energy is one thing, and I don't have any problem in principal generating lots of short fast movements whilst making the kettle boil for a cup of tea, though I might struggle to make one for a friend at the same time, I would heartily make the effort. But where exactly is my electricity coming from..? If there is anything in the world like life force, then surely this would be it. Given then that I could be attached to several brand named products happily feeding on my life energy at any one time, what exactly happens when my life force drops below zero ? and by how much ? Are we talking feeling like a zombie for a day ? Or are we in Lich territory here?

As a species we do need to keep on top of all of these methods of extinction and I fear that I have come upon yet another but for now just make sure you wrap yourself in insulation before going to bed to ensure a good nights recharging.